Day 29

I haven’t been around lately. I had to go out of state to take care of my father who had a malignant tumor removed from his colon. He’s been in the nursing rehab for the last 20 days and was supposed to be coming home today, but he is still not medically stable enough. I didn’t go to meetings when I was away. I did spend a lot of time doing step work and reading.
It is very had to see a man that was so strong loose 30 plus pounds and be completely exhausted. I don’t mind taking care of him. I don’t mind the medical things that need to be done for him or all the other things I will need to do. He can’t do it himself and if I can help him get some of his ability to function on his own again I’ll be thrilled.
My problem is, I am being overly sensitive to everything around me. My life is chaotic right now and I am having trouble not obsessing about the need for a drink, just one. I am rearranging my life for my father as well as my home. My husband and I are moving out of our bedroom into a smaller room, ramps are being installed on the front porch, furniture has been tossed, and my work schedule needs to change. My fathers’ illness has caused family dynamics to go awry again. My son and mother have joined forces to visit my father in rehab a few times now. My mother has not been with my father for 44 years. Why does she keep visiting?