This morning was calm. I woke up when I chose and went out to the coffee room. I placed a large cup in the microwave and with in 2 min I had a decent cup of coffee sitting next me . I found two computers available and positioned my self down for a new day daily routine of sitting here explaining, ranting, and sharing my days with you. So far it’s been med checks, getting to know the routine here, meeting a roommate and a “buddy” to help show me around. Just like members of AA they took me immediately under their wing. I had the strangest teleconference with a PHD and I hated it. I want one on one service not this video stuff. She asked me all about my symptoms and my trauma and my usage. But how can I tell her exactly everything that I am traumatized by when she is a complete stranger and I only have 45 mins. She was nice but it was just weird. At least the camera was faced so I could see only her face. She decided that beside the regular group meetings she wants me to take extra classes on boundaries, PTSD, and confidence. Sound good to me. I mean I want down time but I think a wide range of busy activities is better. After this annoying Webex interview (which I can see being the future of all medical visits) I was then thrown right into a class which I could hardly keep my eyes open for. I tried placing my head in my hands and pulling my covid mask over my closed eyes for a few minutes at a time. I tried closing my eyes consistently counting to 3 and reopening them hoping that the leader wouldn’t recognize it. I just couldn’t hold on. Yup, here we are in this big circle reading portions from the Big Book, answering questions about how we feel and plop. Off my chair I go fully asleep.
The room was shocked. Giggles and concern filled the air. Not having known but 10 minutes I had already made a full spectacle of my self and yet they were truly concerned. I was ok but they decided I needed to get back to my dorm and sleep for a while. I did too, right through noon meds. I woke about 230pm so i also missed the afternoon lecture I was to attend. My body new what it needed though. I purposely skipped out on gym class, took a shower, unpacked my belongings and set up my bed to my liking.
In the evening we watched “When Love is Not Enough.” The story of Bill W and his wife Lois. It was actually entertaining because it had Winona Ryder and Barry Pepper. The writing was ok but it was filmed on a B level I think. It’s a shame, they had these big actors and it really could have been more popular and make a huge impact on non AA members to educate them so we don’t seem like such a cult to some.
Next to the tv and by the fireplace there is a give and take basket for clothes, sundries, what ever you have that you don’t need and others might. I picked up some Dove body soap and a pair of shorts for tomorrow.
I am heading to bed now. I know it is still early for most but I am still exhausted. Its just a few steps from room 405 to the medicine dispensary so I will ask the girls to knock on my door as they go by to make sure I was up.