Today was a slow day on the lane. It’s Saturday and hot. I spent a lot of time at the pool just floating around. Our women’s meeting is held there so it’s the meeting I enjoy the most. Nothing like attending a meeting while floating around getting a tan.
What I did get done today was a project that wasn’t even mine to do. My roommate was assigned it and I loved the idea. I wasn’t given any homework so I just went with hers. She was to do an art project of all the shame that she has. They will be doing a ceremonial burning of it in the office to get rid of all the shame that binds her. She did an excellent job. We set up in the garage with large sheets of white butcher paper. She chose to do a artistic picture with written words of her shame. I chose to do a house. The outside of the house was perfect in every way. It had a beautiful yard full of flowers, a white picket fence, and a dog in the yard. The windows are where you saw the horror and shame behind the beautiful facade. I drew pictures of a pregnant child, my dented car, a baby alone, A couple having a romantic dinner on one side of the pane and a man watching tv on the other, I drew my son small and me tall with a glass of wine in my hand. He had a frown on his face. I also drew two faces screaming at each other and a window just filled with the word lie. It sort of represented how I kept everything looking perfect on the outside but inside all the horrors lived. It was a good picture. It felt good to draw like a child. It was releasing.
Afterwards I sat in the driveway with my other new housemates as we talked about ideas, recovery, and the upcoming BBQ at the community house. We all decided we would go but only two of us ended up going. My roommate went to bed early and the other two stayed back at the house. I actually came over on my own this time. I had no issue what so ever. I walked right in, grabbed a plate and gathered my food. I stood there eating and talking while everyone laughed and had a good time. One of the guys here is a comedian so he did a little show for us. It was actually pretty good. The food was excellent as always and I got to have another Topo-Chico.
I am hanging out in the community house writing this before I head back across the street to my home. It’s getting late and I am definitely getting tired. I think I will leave this party and get a good night rest. Talk to you tomorrow.